Why does he suck so much?

[Christh^^]

Ok I've been having girl troubles for like years, the trouble being that none of them like me.

I've tried to get a GF since like Gr.9 (Is in Gr.11 now) and I end up being they're "Best Guy Friend", I must be super ugly or something that no girls will even give me the chance, though I havn't really been all that outgoing about it, I am not a happy/outgoing/etc person, could this be an issue? I just don't know.



SO BASICALLY WHAT I'M HINTING AT RATHER BADLY IS.

What am I doing wrong, and how can I fix it?

[eishiya]

Be more confident. Not shameless, but confident. I think a perceived lack of confidence is the biggest reason a guy gets friend-zoned.

With confidence, comes outgoingness and all that.

[blankd]

I have absolutely no scientific backing for this but you may (subconsciously) project that "I want a GF T_T" and girls tend to pick up on things like that, or at least more often than guys do and as a result they tend to friend-zone you. Anyway I recommend you actually try not to sweat getting a GF so badly, enjoy your bachelorhood and you'll find someone or someone will find you. 8)

[Christh^^]

I have absolutely no scientific backing for this but you may (subconsciously) project that "I want a GF T_T" and girls tend to pick up on things like that, or at least more often than guys do and as a result they tend to friend-zone you. Anyway I recommend you actually try not to sweat getting a GF so badly, enjoy your bachelorhood and you'll find someone or someone will find you. 8)

I don't really go out of my way to say that "I want a GF T_T", I just use the only charm I have really, being funny. My one friend says I'm not trying hard enough so I don't think I'm projecting it, but I'll try to be even more nonchalunte(However it's spelt >.>)

Be more confident. Not shameless, but confident. I think a perceived lack of confidence is the biggest reason a guy gets friend-zoned.

With confidence, comes outgoingness and all that.

I've been trying to be more confident, but I'm a big pessimist and I can't help but be self-loathing

[ninjies]

I've been trying to be more confident, but I'm a big pessimist and I can't help but be self-loathing

people tend to pick up on that stuff. you can exude confidence or lack thereof, and people can see that. "oh, he looks like a downer. let's stay away from him."

try addressing your own self esteem issues first. gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else :> and remember, friendships are a good thing! don't downplay them as any less important than a romantic relationship.

[blankd]

Erm that's not exactly what I meant, more like because you think so much about wanting a GF the girls can sense it and go on emotional defense towards it. Does that make sense?

Just be honest and open. 8)

[Christh^^]

I've been trying to be more confident, but I'm a big pessimist and I can't help but be self-loathing

try addressing your own self esteem issues first. gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else :> and remember, friendships are a good thing! don't downplay them as any less important than a romantic relationship.

I've also been trying to get better at that, but it seems whenever I feel better about myself someone puts me down and I feel like shit, even if they were just joking. ;-;

Erm that's not exactly what I meant, more like because you think so much about wanting a GF the girls can sense it and go on emotional defense towards it. Does that make sense?

Just be honest and open. 8)

I think I get you, thanks, I'll try to be honest and open. ;D

[ninjies]

I've also been trying to get better at that, but it seems whenever I feel better about myself someone puts me down and I feel like shit, even if they were just joking. ;-;

self esteem is a lifelong battle. just keep at it, and don't give up! it's okay to feel bad when someone puts you down, and eventually you'll learn how to ignore those sorts of comments (especially when you get out of highschool).

[LazyChocobo]

Also, you must remember that this is still High School. You might not realise it, but it's going to be over really soon. You're currently at a time when people mature really quick. You might find it surprising that once you finish school, you might find a lot of people who might be much more interested in you, especially if you're not going to be staying in your parents' basement your whole life. It could be that the girls you're hanging out with right now aren't just grown up enough for you.

I say MIGHT and COULD, because, by the looks of it, I think your datelessness really could be just a matter of confidence. Also, make sure not to get too far with your GF conquest. After all, you might be happy for finding a girl who would want to date you without even realising that you don't like her AT ALL.

[gameboy+micron]

Well I think Mashi's really into you, you could try her...

[Reigan]

As a girl, I think I may be able to provide some suggestions (has never had a boyfriend in her life *shot*)

I just think you need to build some self-confidence, though that's a lot harder than it sounds ^^; What I did is start to draw, and once I got pretty decent at it, it built my self-confidence because I knew that nobody else could do what I did

Having a Girlfriend doesn't necessarily come with a lot of perks, in some cases, and I don't think you should worry about it so much. And don't think you have to change you entire being just so some girls will take you out of their friend-zone, they wont be worth it D; You never know what will happen once your out of High School, or even before that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is to build some confidence, and be PATIENT. Patience is very important in these types of situations, because if you're not, you might as well write the word "DESPERATE" on your forehead. (I'm not saying that you are, it's just that you might send those types of signals out to people)

I hope this helps, maybe even a little?

[Ddraigeneth]

I've never actually been on a date. I wasn't interested in dating until I was about 16, and by then it seemed as if all of the guys I might be interested in had girlfriends. Come graduation, and that summer I meet a guy online. We start chatting in a game, and it's a goofy, random conversation. So, we add each other as friends. Talk a bit more, later. Add each other on MSN. Talk more. Sometimes serious, sometimes nonsense. After about two months, he told me he loved me, and I was honest, "I like you, a lot, but I'm not sure I love you." So, we keep talking. About a year after that, we moved in together, and we've been tormenting each other for 4 years now.

People pshaw at the idea of soulmates, but I think there's someone for everyone simply because there are so many damned people on this planet. There is someone out there who will love you exactly as you are, and make you happy, because it is a statistical improbability that there isn't. If you aren't patient enough for that, or just want sex, then work on that, but quit thinking you're worthless. You're somebody's future honey, and they wouldn't want you talking like that. xP

[Hindumaliman]

First off, you are a smart sexy strong individual and you don't need a woman man or willing dog to complete you

secondly, grow a mustache

[Snuffan]

When you want a partner, a fuckbuddy, a husband/wife or just someone to share a good time with you shouldn't be obsessed with the thought of pleasing someone else to make them want to be with you (it doesn't work that way...). Like you have to want to be a better person and be comfortable with YOU before you start sharing your everday life with someone else.
Not that I would advice anyone to take my advice considering that I am the queen of failed relationships but still. EDIT: not counting the wonderful one I'm in right now. IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'VE ALL FAILED I JUST HAVE MANY THAT FAILED AND STUFFFFF.
If you want a girlfriend for the sake of a girlfriend you'll end up like my friend. He gets a girlfriend, spends every wake minute with her, rushes the relationship and when "everything has been done" it's DONE and he's onto the next. That is like raping the meaning of love and caring about someone. He's just satisfying his own need for a girlfriend and it's just not right. Too many people turn out like that before they realise what they want and stuff. Just NOT caring about """"a relationship"""" and then just falling in love with someone is the best. Not forcing yourself to fall in love with someone for the relationship.

I am just rambling so please excuse me. I think my point is, don't fall in love with a relationship and be sure what your reasons for being with someone are. Just be comfortable with yourself and don't stress it.

[Ddraigeneth]

Just be comfortable with yourself and don't stress it.

... In the sexy way!

Excellent advice.