A Complete Mess

[Epsilon]

I have this friend that's a wonderful artist, and I'm also best friends with his fiancee. He loves to draw sexy woman (mostly naked), but the problem is he wants to only draw sexy women, as pencil sketches. He's quit his job to pursue art full-time. She's working two jobs and quit classes to support him. But he doesn't want to clean up his sketches. They've convinced themselves that they don't need to be a part of an artist group/community, that he doesn't have to clean up his sketches because it's his 'specialty', and they expect him to be an art pro.

Now they're getting frustrated and looking to me to move in and help their situation.

I love them to bits but...I think if I moved in it would kill our friendship. And I'd have to quit school. She hinted at wanting me to start up some project with him, to give him direction, to 'cap' his ideas from getting too big... But every time I bring up an idea, he mauls it and then forces his own ideas.

He draws when he feels like it, or when he's confident enough to do so. And now, she can't write her own stories because he wants her to focus all of her energy on helping him. So that one day he can help her when he's pro.

In so many ways, this is set up for disaster. I really don't know what to do other than tell him to get a job somewhere. It's getting hard to hang out with them.

[corruption]

He needs to get his act together. Moving in to help them will not actually help at all, and only cause problems for you. Quiting school with only stuff up your future. He would leech of you as he has started to leech of his fiancee. Tell him that unless he he can draw more then just sketches, he will never go far. Help the fiancee with her comics, sure; but unless the guy can pull his act together, don't help him with his.

One thing he can do to help out with the living expenses, and practice his skills, is to try selling the sketches on DeviantART, and see what people think of his skills there.

Also, try to find out why he went like this, so you can help with fixing this situation at the source.

[KirbyHead]

Your friend doesn't think he needs to be in any sort of artist community? Maybe not, but if he wants to get anywhere, he'll need to know people. It helps, at the very least. This journal by Sean Murphy is something that I always thought rang pretty well in the whole "networking" scheme of things, and it might be helpful to show it to your friend. It's something that a lot of artists take for granted, I think. Sean Murphy is a damn good comic artist with a few deals on his plate, and Dustin Nyugen also fits into that category, so I'm going to assume they know what they're talking about. Here's the most important part:

A few days ago I arrived in Seattle to attend the Emerald City convention. Met with Dustin Nguyen and a few other friends to get a bite before turning in. I was already tired with the time shift, but Dustin and his crew are usually low key—just my speed at these shows. After a great dinner and two beers, we head back to our hotel—which was PACKED with other pros.

We all had that moment where we looked at each other and tried to decide whether we had the energy for another round. It was 3am in New York, so I was ready to get some sleep. It was hard turning Dustin down for another drink, but DAMN was I tired. And I didn't want to be half asleep while meeting artists I respected.

Now it's 2am Seattle time. I'm half asleep when Dustin comes in and lays it on me.

“You should have come down man. People were asking about you...” Or something to that affect.

“Yeah—sorry dude. I'm just so tired. I'd be afraid to say the wrong thing.”

“You know I know a lot of people in comics, right?” he asks. Now I'm starting to wake up. I feel Dustin about to lay it on me.

“Yeah...”

“Well, they all like your stuff and want to meet you, but I got to be honest—I'm ending up defending you a lot.”

Now I'm awake.

“I know you and I know you're passionate and really serious about this stuff, but a lot of people have the impression that you're really negative or something. You should try to open up a bit.”

An hour later, Dustin is asleep and I'm not. Thanks Dustin.

But he's right. People are curious about artists and it's not wise to hold onto your anonymity too tightly. I used to write pretty vitriolic posts here on DA which brought me a bit of heat. Not much, but enough to make me stop for the last year. And since then I've done nothing. And even though I haven't added to the vitriol lately, those nuggets are the last things I've said. So people can't be blamed for thinking that I'm an asshole.

So I'm going to try and change that.

[Epsilon]

Thanks everyone. I might've figured out part of the problem, and it could be a personality disorder. I'm certainly no psychologist but I know one and he seems to think that's what it is after I talked to him. It'd also explain his emotional instabilty, and why he can't draw on a consistant basis.

I'll send that journal his way and see what he thinks. He's had an art table with me and something similar happened, actually. Whenever one of us left the table to get food, people would ask for us and we've both missed opportunities. But I think the best thing I can do for him now is give him advice and encouragement whenever I can.