If you read this title, please help me

[Randumbz]

i really need advice or something right now. So (9th grade) school's been going on for like a month and a half now, but i haven't made a lot of friends. i only have like 4. I'm really shy and bad at starting conversations. It really makes me sad to look around and see all my other classmates talking to each other and knowing that nobody cares about me at all... i've never been so lonely. if this keeps up i'm gonna become depressed soon. i just started crying.... somebody help

[RyoSoulreaper]

Well, Like I tell my sister(Who also is in 9th grade this year), It's only been a month and a half. All you need to do is kinda talk to people in your classes. You don't even need to start the conversation.

Like, when I was in high school I just inserted myself in conversations. If the topic of discussion was something I knew about I would chime in. Another method would be Extracurricular activities. Join some clubs with your interests or something. Those are most likely like minded people there you can talk too and be friends with. Hell if you are good at a particular subject helping out people who aren't is a good way to make friends.

It's only been a month in a half, You're on the bottom of the chain for High School, give it time. You'll become friends with people in due time.

[*_Asterisk_*]

I was in the same position as you, I only had about zero friends in the beginning of the week. If you're shy making conversations, at least try to make one. Maybe you should talk about schoolwork, interests, hobbies...all that jazz.
You might not even as well try to make a conversation when you're at a table with someone talkative. Or maybe even consult your guidance counselour to might as well not even ask helplessly for everyone to be your friend. But for the meantime, hang in there because the world will soon be your oyster.

[Randumbz]

i try talking to people, but for some reason they don't wanna talk to me. they reply and then talk to everybody else around them except me

[Remolay]

I'm horrible with talking to people. If I'm going to talk to someone, most of the time they have to talk first. My idea, meet the friends of your friends.

[Randumbz]

I'm horrible with talking to people. If I'm going to talk to someone, most of the time they have to talk first. My idea, meet the friends of your friends.

we're really just aquaintances, but i guess i could try that

[Rosie11]

Hang in there! I also had very few friends in middle school and felt very lonely, but in high school I met some nice people and things got better. What everyone else posted can help, but even when you feel down just know that it's eventually going to get better. As you get older your social skills will improve, everyone else will be less clique-y, and you'll have more chances to meet people with similar interests. I know since I went through the same thing.

[Randumbz]

Hang in there! I also had very few friends in middle school and felt very lonely, but in high school I met some nice people and things got better. What everyone else posted can help, but even when you feel down just know that it's eventually going to get better. As you get older your social skills will improve, everyone else will be less clique-y, and you'll have more chances to meet people with similar interests. I know since I went through the same thing.

thanks

[mitchellbravo]

i try talking to people, but for some reason they don't wanna talk to me. they reply and then talk to everybody else around them except me

That sucks. I have that happen to me from time to time as well.

I'm not sure if you'll be able to be this aware of yourself, but sometimes you might be saying something that people can't quite branch off of, something that doesn't really move the discussion along, if you know what I mean. An example:

A: I bought a whole box of bananas this morning!
B: Wow, that's great, where'd you get them from?
A: The grocery store around the corner from me!
B: I don't have a grocery store around my corner.

Obviously a stupid example, but there's not much that A can really say to respond to B's statement in this conversation. Try asking questions instead of making statements (though don't rely on that as your only conversation tool, it can make you seem ditzy if you get too reliant on it). Give people compliments- "Your presentation turned out really awesome!" or "That's a really good idea, do you mind if I use it too?" People like compliments and will generally respond positively, although you are in high school, and I found that high schoolers can be remarkably bad at accepting compliments some of the time... ugh, this advice isn't sounding so good, is it?

But I'll second also what everyone else has been saying- it will get better as school goes on. And hey, you've got those 4 friends- that's a pretty good number. See if you can maybe throw a party or something and ask your friends to invite other friends as well, so you can all get to know some more people. Joining clubs is good because then you are automatically in a group with people who share your interests.

As you grow older, you'll become more confident in your ability to speak to strangers/acquaintances. I used to be terrified of going up to the cash register, ordering food at places, calling people on the phone, or interacting in anyway with strangers outside of absolute necessity. Especially since graduating high school, I've loosened up a lot, and I think quite a bit of it is due to the fact that I don't care so much anymore if others will think I'm weird or not. (I assume they're going to, since a plurality of those I meet seem to, and just use that to my advantage- hell, a good amount of it just for fun, like an act practically.)

Hang in there, friend. Just continue to be polite and friendly when you feel able to do so, and treat your pals well. You want to be the guy that people enjoy talking to and look forward to seeing- just tell yourself that you will be that guy, and you might find you'll start acting like him, and being treated like him, pretty soon. And remember that friendships can be hard to build, but you'll soon meet people who get along with you just fine.

[redandblack64]

Like michellbravo said, play by the ear by making the conversation about the person you're talking to rather than yourself.

Other than that, I have a "fuck everybody" mindset when it comes to other people's opinions about me. Unless I'm trying to get hired or get under a hot chick's pants. This alleviates being anxious.

I say that you should try michellbravo's approach.

[Randumbz]

thanks for all the help guys

[Molly-sama]

I was the same way my entire first semester at college. I had two friends by the end (who had a ton of friends themselves), and that was it, since all my friends from high school had either gone to a larger party school or hadn't graduated yet. I know how you feel; I was incredibly awkward (still working on that, haha) and shy. And here's what you have to do: talk. Just jump into a conversation your friends are having with other friends (the lighter conversations, like about movies or classes, etc.), and it shouldn't be too long before you know about the other ones in the group or they at least know your opinions as well as things like if you're negative, rude, funny, smart, an optimist, like bad jokes, etc. Speaking aloud in conversations your friends started and with your friends there will help, trust me (especially since you didn't have to start it). Then you'll get more confident, at least around their friends/acquaintances, and then you'll have them as friends of your own. It's nerve-racking at first, but eventually you'll get the hang of it without even needing it to make friends.

Hope this helps!

[YakkitySax]

Why not also try becoming better friends with the group you have? Then if you have someone to constantly talk to, you may not feel so lonely. I remember in middle school I really only had 3-4 people I actually would call "friends" that I constantly hung out with. I knew a lot of people and could talk with most of them, but actually having more of them be close friends.. I mean, giving 20 or more people enough attention to still consider them a good friend would be really tiring.

Some people also take longer to warm up to others, you might be one of them. I know in person I take a while to warm up to new people, but eventually I come around and I like to think I'm generally well liked in my personal world. Like others on here have said, give it time.

[Randumbz]

ok thanks, it just bothers me that everybody else in my classes is friends with each other

[Vitotamito]

It's not about the Quantity of friends you make, it's about the Quality. Most of friends you make in high school you will look back on later on facebook and be like, "Man, I never liked that guy."